The Heart Wants What It Wants
by ReesesPieces2112
Summary: The aftermath of Girl Meets Texas set in their Sophomore year of High School. MAJOR Rucas. I'm sorry guys, but I gotta go with what I like.
1. Can't

**I know I'm going to get quite a bit of comments about this whole Rucas/ Lucaya thing and this is honestly where I stand.**

 **I know this feeling. This hurt that Riley's going through (Yes, it's just a tv show) but I understand it. I've _been_ Riley. This story is pretty much going to be about my situation with my best friend, and how I thought I could be okay with this, but I couldn't. This is going to be my story, but with Riley, Maya, and Lucas. It's set their Sophomore year of High School.**

 **Enjoy guys and review, review, review.**

 **Much love,**

 **ReesesPieces2112**

* * *

" _You can't tell anybody._ " _Her voice croaked. Moving for the door, she stopped and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She meant to go inside and meet her date halfway so they could go. But his voice stopped her._

" _I will unless you do._ " _He warned, stepping in front of her._

" _Why?_ "

" _Because we are growing up._ " _He explained._ " _And I don't know how to handle these feelings we're feeling. But I do know that we don't lie to each other._ "

 _She swallowed the lump in her throat as she fought back more of her tears._

" _We don't lie to each other, Riley._ "

* * *

"Riley?" A familiar voice called, echoing her name. "Riley?"

"Huh?" Riley turned to find her mother smiling at her; she had been standing in front of the old bakery her parents had bought, fully intending on going inside and studying/ working, until… "Oh, sorry. I just got lost in thought."

"Ah." Topanga nodded and turned to the window, seeing what Riley was avoiding. "Honey-."

"I can't." She said quickly, tears welling up. "I just can't. I'm sorry, mom." Gripping the strap to her backpack tightly, she pivoted on her heel and ran up the stairs.

"Oh, Riley." Topanga frowned, "You can't run forever, sweetheart." She walked back into her restaurant and began wiping down tables and smiling at Auggie as he finished his homework.

* * *

"You're a dork." Maya tapped Lucas' head with her pencil and laughed; they had been sitting at Topanga's for about an hour now, studying and both hoping to catch a glimpse of their friend.

"I like 'Ranger Rick' better." Lucas ruffled her hair and she slapped his hands away.

Maya had draped her legs over Lucas' as they sat by the window. She smiled softly at the way he concentrated; they were polar opposites those two. He studied four hours a day, she couldn't really care less about school. He didn't understand much about art and art is everything she loved. But there are things that made them blend so well together; he'd do anything for his friends, she'd give her life for them. He'd be okay with her name-calling, she'd finally come around to his using her as an arm rest. They just worked.

"Anything else for you kids?" Topanga smiled warmly as she set down two muffins in front of them.

"No thanks, Mrs. Matthews." Maya returned the smile, twirling the pencil in her hand. "We're almost done and we'll be outta your hair."

"Oh, please." Topanga rolled her eyes and laughed. "I could never get tired of you two."

"No…Riley today?" Lucas asked hesitantly, the corners of his mouth dropping.

"Um, no." Topanga sighed heavily. "She got caught up at school."

"For the third time this week?" Maya dropped her gaze to the floor.

"Things are different now, Maya." Topanga sat next to her and hugged her close. "You guys are in high school. Riley's really branched out this year and I'm sure once cheerleading season is over, she'll come around."

"We've been hoping that for the last year." Maya leaned her head against Topanga's shoulder. "At first, I got it. Cheerleading was important to her. Now I'm just…I just want Riley back."

"Hey, guys." Farkle and Zay stepped up to their table.

"Check it out." Zay dropped his last test on the table. "See what that is? It's an 'A'!"

"All right." Lucas high-fived him. "Way to go, Zay."

"Cool, right?" Farkle beamed. "I helped Zay study and he totally aced the test."

"Hey, Mrs. Matthews," Zay caught her attention, "we just saw Riley leaving. She said to tell you she'd be at home."

Topanga cringed at having been caught in her own lie, though she knew Maya wouldn't call her out on it. "Thank you, Zay."

* * *

The knock on her door had her looking up from her textbook. "Come in."

"How yah doin'?" Topanga asked as she opened the door and sat on her daughter's bed.

"Fine." Riley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Just finishing up some homework."

"Riley, sweetie," Topanga reached over and closed her notes, "About what happened today-."

"Mom, stop." Riley stood from her bed immediately. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" Topanga frowned up at her. "This isn't you, Riley, you don't bottle up your feelings."

"Maybe it's time I start." Riley gazed at the empty seat by her window. "Every time I think about, I feel more and more pathetic, mom."

"I'm just trying to understand why you would tell Lucas you liked him as a brother when you liked him as so much more."

"For Maya." She answered with no hesitation. "Because we're best friends, because she deserves to be happy."

Topanga nodded; one of the many things she loved about Riley was her drive to make everyone happy, but it was also the thing that concerned her the most. If Riley was so busy putting her friends first, who was making sure Riley was happy too?

"I know it hurts to see them now." Topanga stood from the bed. "But it'll get easier."

Riley stayed silent as her mother left her room. With the click of the door, she sat back on her bed and stared at her notebook. She brought her legs to her chest and buried her face in them, letting the tears flow for what seemed the millionth time since eighth grade.


	2. Riley Matthews?

"Riles, come on!" Caprice pulled her through the crowd of students and pushed her up to the podium. "Good luck!"

"Caprice!" Riley squealed as she came up to the mic. "Um, hey guys." Her voice rang back.

"Whoo, way to go, Riles!" The cheerleaders clapped from the back of the crowd, giving her a thumbs-up.

"So," She began again with confidence, "Friendly reminder that this week's homecoming game will be an away game. Our student body is fully encouraged to come by and show their school spirit. There will be a pep rally around fifth period, so right after lunch, head to the gym. Let's go, guys! Whoohoo!"

Caprice and the team bombarded her as soon as she stepped down, laughing and hugging her.

Riley squeezed Caprice and screamed when the football team lifted her onto their shoulders, chanting the school 'fight song' as they led her down the halls.

Maya, Lucas, Farkle, and Zay watched from their spot on the stairs as Riley was so easily welcomed by the jocks, people that Maya never found themselves a part of; they were too different from them. If it weren't for Lucas and Zay, Maya thought Riley would have never been interested in something like Cheerleading.

Lucas watched Riley be bounced on the football team's shoulders, her smile bigger than he'd seen it in months. Charlie of course was the one to start the eruption of school spirit, seeing as he and Riley were now a couple. Something Lucas thought was just a rumor in their eighth grade year until they decided they'd walk down the halls while holding hands. It was weird for him to see, in fact, it was awkward watching them be together. But he had Maya and he was happy, they were both happy, and that's all he needed.

Riley's black hair fell in her face as the team set her down, all except Charlie scattering quickly, leaving her confused. "Ahhh!" She screamed as she was suddenly drenched in water.

"Guys!" Charlie laughed as he too was soaked from head to toe. "What the-?!"

"Oh, come on!" Caprice laughed, tugging on a string by the doorway of the cafeteria. "You guys have been voted Sophomore homecoming King and Queen, this is your 'congratulations!'."

"Awesome." Riley giggled as she wiped water from her eyes, looking up at Charlie as his team congratulated him and handed him a towel, which he draped around her shoulders. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He pulled her close and rubbed her arms to keep her warm. "You know you guys are out a pyramid member if she gets a cold."

"She won't get a cold." Heather promised, winking at them. "She's got you to keep her warm."

Their classmates 'ooohed' and snickered while Charlie rolled his eyes and led Riley away. "You guys are dorks."

* * *

 **Flashback: First Day of Freshman Year**

" _Can you believe it_?" _Riley squealed as she made her way through the doors of her new high school with Farkle and Zay close behind her_. " _We_ ' _re in High School now guys_ , _High School_!"

" _Riley_ , _relax_." _Zay chuckled and patted her shoulder_. _He nodded to Maya and Lucas as they reached the group_.

 _Riley looked at her feet and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear_. _Shifting from one foot to the other_ , _she tugged her books closer to her chest_. " _Hey guys_. _What locker are you at_ , _Maya_?"

" _Riles_." _Maya beamed before letting go of Lucas_ ' _hand and pulling out a piece of paper from her binder_. " _I_ ' _m at_ , _uh_ , _5B_. _You_?"

" _5C_." _Riley handed her own paper over to show Maya that their lockers were once again right next to each other_.

" _Sweet_." _Maya tugged Lucas and Riley along to her locker_ , _where she dialed her combination and pulled it open_. " _This is going to be a good year_ , _right Riles_?"

 _Riley nodded with a fake smile as she opened her own locker and shoved her book inside_. _After getting everything organized_ , _she closed her locker and leaned against it as her friends got lost in conversation_.

" _Riley Matthews_?" _A girl with long_ , _blonde hair pulled into a tight pony tail approached them_.

 _The friends stopped talking and simultaneously turned to look at Riley and the upperclassman._

" _Yes_?" _Riley pushed herself off her locker and faced the girl with a sheepish smile_.

 _The girl stuck out her hand and grinned_. " _Caprice O_ ' _Hare_. _I_ ' _m on the cheerleading team here at John Quincy High_. _Our Captain would like to meet you_."

 _Riley shook the Caprice_ ' _s hand_. " _O-Oh_ , _okay_ , _but I haven_ ' _t even tried out yet_."

" _Our Captain likes to scout out new talent before the school year begins_." _Caprice slid up to Riley_ ' _s side and began to walk her to the gym where the cheerleaders were practicing_.

" _I_ ' _ll see you guys at lunch_." _Riley turned to her friends and waved_. " _What do you mean_ ' _scout new talent_ '? _I_ ' _m not very good_."

" _You can always learn_." _Caprice smiled at her_. " _It_ ' _s only your Freshman year_ , _Riley_ , _and as long as the team sticks together_ , _you_ ' _re going to do just fine._ "

 _Riley couldn_ ' _t help the smile on her face as she kept up with Caprice on their way to meet the rest of the cheerleading team._

* * *

 **Present Time: Sophomore Year of High School**

"Hey, Riles." Maya greeted as she walked up to Riley and Caprice, Lucas, Farkle, and Zay trailing behind.

"Hi, Maya." Riley beamed at her.

"You um, missed your shift at the diner yesterday." Maya scratched her arm nervously. "Everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah." Riley ran her hair through the towel one more time before shoving it in her locker. "I had a lot of homework to get done."

"I thought we could talk about some stuff." Maya felt Lucas walk up behind her, reassuring her.

"Next time." Riley half-promised, looking away from them and playing with her thumbs.

"You've been saying 'next time' for the past year." Maya grit her teeth, her frustration beginning to boil over. "You're avoiding me, Riles, just say it."

"Things are different now, Maya." Riley bit her lip. "I'm not avoiding you, I've just gotten busier-."

"Too busy for your best friend?" Maya's voice wavered.

"Riley has new friends, Maya." Caprice interjected, stepping in front of Riley. "Get over it. Get over yourself."

"Caprice." Riley warned with a hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, Riley." She scoffed, taking her arm and linking them together. "We're going to be late."

Maya choked back her tears as she watched Riley be hauled off by her new friend, locking eyes with her as she looked back apologetically.

"It was worth a shot." Lucas wrapped his arms around Maya and leaned his head against her shoulder.

"Was it?" She whispered as she caught Riley snapping her head forward.


	3. ABC

"All right, guys, it's time to get your partner's for this semester's project." Mr. James, the Chemistry teacher said as he looked over his list of students.

Riley glanced over at Caprice, who gave her a small thumbs up; she had been nervous that she'd be paired with Lucas, seeing as they were both selected to take part in a higher chemistry class with the Juniors.

"Carey and Max." Mr. James began, reading the names one by one until… "Riley and Lucas."

"Uh, Mr. James." Riley's hand shot up to get her teacher's attention.

"Yes, Riley?"

"Is there any way I can request a new partner?" She asked nervously, chewing on her bottom lip while explaining, "Lucas lives across town and with my mom needing extra help at her bakery, it would be hard to work together."

"I have no problem with it." Lucas argued, watching her tense up at the sound of his voice.

"Well, we don't need students overexerting themselves or even staying out so late in the city." Mr. James nodded. "All right, Riley, you and Caprice can work together, since you two live in the same building."

"Thank you, sir." Caprice grinned as the bell rang and class was dismissed.

As the students piled out of class, Maya stood by the door and waited for Lucas. She was surprised when he came out without even noticing her.

"Riley." Lucas tugged on Riley's arm gently as they left the classroom.

Riley felt a jolt of electricity shoot through her arm and she had to jerk back a little. "Lucas?"

"Whoa, Friar." Charlie, who was also waiting by the door, was quick to react. He took Riley's hand and laced their fingers together. "We're friends, Friar, but not when it comes to my girl. That's a whole 'nother story."

A crowd had gathered and some students snickered at the possible fight they were readying their phones for.

Lucas tightened his grip without realizing or meaning to, glaring at Charlie. "Is it such a crime to want to talk to my friend, Charlie? Or does she need your permission?"

'Oh's!' erupted from around them and Riley could feel her cheeks heating up.

"Watch yourself, Friar," Charlie grit his teeth and came closer to Riley, "I trust Riley, I don't trust you. Now, let go."

"Make me." Lucas challenged; he had no idea why he was acting this way or why he even tried to pick a fight with Charlie.

"Lucas, stop." Riley tugged her arm free from him. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait. Just please…no fighting, okay?" She frowned and turned to follow Charlie and Caprice to the cafeteria.

Disappointed grumbling from their fellow classmates filled the halls as the crowd dispersed and it was then that Lucas noticed Maya.

"Hey," She walked up to him and put a comforting hand on his arm, "everything all right?"

"Fine, I just…" He reached up to take her hand in his, "Mr. James was assigning lab partners and when Riley got paired with me…she requested a new partner."

Maya huffed, "What? Why would she do that?"

"She said it's because I live across town." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I thought this could be our chance to ask her what's been going on. Guess not."

She leaned her head against his shoulder and began walking to the lunchroom. "We'll get our chance, like you said."

* * *

 ** _Freshman Year: First day_**

 _When lunchtime came around_ , _Maya had expected Riley to join them_. _But then 10 minutes had gone by_ , _then 15 minutes_ , _and before she knew it lunch was already halfway over_.

" _I think we should find Riley and see if she_ ' _s okay_." _She finally suggested_. " _Lunch is almost over and I haven't seen her once_."

" _She_ ' _s fine_." _Farkle assured with a smile_. " _If she were having trouble_ , _she_ ' _d come find us_."

" _Yeah_." _Maya nodded_ , _still unconvinced_. " _Yeah_ , _you're right_."

" _Hey_ , _guys_." _Charlie had walked up to their table and put a hand Lucas' shoulder_. " _You haven't seen my girlfriend around, have you_?"

" _Not since this morning_." _Lucas tried to subtly shrug off Charlie's hand but failed when he saw Maya's eyes zero in on the gesture_.

 _Charlie frowned as he scanned the cafeteria until the sound of the doors opening caught his attention and he smiled at the person he was looking for_. _Walking up to Riley, he took her hand in his._ " _There you are_."

" _Here I am_." _She beamed up at him_. " _You'll never believe what happened._ "

" _Shoot_." _Charlie led her back to her table of friends_.

" _That cheerleader Caprice took me to the try-outs,_ " _Riley clung to him, ecstatic_. " _And I made the team_!"

" _Oh, Riles, that's great_!" _Maya got out of her seat to give her friend a hug, but simply smiled sadly as she noticed that Charlie had wrapped his arms around her and spun her around_.

" _That's amazing, Riley, I'm so proud of you_." _Charlie had settled her back on the ground._

" _Oh, Ms. Matthews_." _Caprice's voice sang as she practically bounced up to their table_. " _We have a special seat reserved for you if you'd like_."

 _Riley followed the direction that Caprice had nodded and noticed most of the cheerleading team was gathered around at least two tables with the football players_. " _Oh, uh_ …" _She looked back at her friends._ " _I think I'll pass for today, but thank you_."

" _Well, you're welcome any time_." _Caprice patted her arm and turned to make her way to the team_.

" _You should go, Riles_." _Maya stepped up beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders_.

" _Really_?" _Riley looked at Lucas, Farkle, and Zay_. " _You think I should_?"

" _Absolutely_." _Maya pulled her close_. " _Have fun_."

" _Just for today_." _Riley promised with a squeal as she hugged Maya and ran off to join Caprice, pulling Charlie along with her_.

 _Maya nodded and laughed lightly at how happy Riley was compared to the last few months_. ' _Just for today_.' _She thought as she took a seat next to Lucas and tried to pick off his plate of food_.

* * *

 ** _Sophomore Year: Present Day_**

"Charlie, please don't fight Lucas." Riley squeezed his hand and pleaded. "Please?"

"I promise." Charlie kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry, Riley, really. I just…I don't trust him."

"Why not?"

"Because of your guys' history." He pulled her in front of him so she could grab her lunch before he could. "Because you liked him a lot in eighth grade and he liked you a lot."

"Things change." She grabbed a bowl of salad and pushed a fruit cup onto his tray. "You know that. And I know you're still worried because things started off awkward between us on our first date, but I'm just an awkward person."

"I know, I know." Charlie put the fruit cup back on her tray and placed a pudding cup on his own along with a pizza slice. "I was just jealous. And I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Riley turned to smile at him, once again replacing his pudding for fruit and laughing at the grimace on his face.

"You're a serious health nut, you know that?" He joked as he paid for their lunch and led them to their usual table.

"Leave Riley alone." Caprice sat next to her. "I think it's charming."

Riley turned to Charlie with a smirk and he rolled his eyes with a smile.

Lucas and Maya watched Riley talk and compare notes with Caprice and Charlie, both frowning at the irony of her being just a few feet away physically, but a whole world away from them emotionally.

"Hey, you okay?" Zay asked when him and Farkle walked up to them. "I heard what happened and got here as fast as I could."

"Did you guys fight?" Farkle questioned as he sat next to Zay.

"No." Lucas shook his head and picked at his lunch. "It just got a little complicated."

Maya leaned her head against his shoulder. "More than a little. But we'll figure it out, all of us, like we always do."

"Caprice." Riley sighed heavily. "Promise me you won't get into any fights either with Maya."

"What?" Caprice looked at her like she was crazy. "Are you kidding me? Riles, a) you've branched out socially and she can't see that, b) you have new friends that you've been spending time with, why is that a crime? And c)…" She glanced in Lucas' direction before looking back at Charlie to see that he was talking to a fellow teammate. "C) Why is it okay for her to hurt you like that?"

"I'm not hurt." Riley insisted and plucked at her fruit. "Lucas never felt for me what he feels for Maya, that's no one's fault."

"That still doesn't give them the right."

"Who am I to say that?" Riley whispered. "Who am I to stand in the way of them being happy, which they are. Maya always puts me first in our friendship and it's time I return the favor."

"Not if you're miserable." Caprice put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Of course Maya put you first, I don't doubt that, but the one time it counts…the one time it really matters…she didn't. You're so amazing, Riley, to sit through it like it doesn't bother you, but anyone with eyes can see it. Only those who know it's wrong refuse to believe it."

"You're a Junior in high school." Riley smiled. "How the heck are you so wise?"

"My mom's a therapist, it's kind of what I do whether I mean to or not." Caprice shrugged and laughed with her friend.


	4. I Found

**Ever hear of the song "I found" by Amber Run? Check it out. It's amazing! (:**

* * *

Riley kicked at puddle of water at her feet. Umbrella in hand, beanie secure on her head, and Charlie's jacket hanging loosely around her shoulders, she waited at the entrance of her mom's café; Charlie was supposed to meet her there when he was done with tutoring.

The faint sound of laughter, familiar laughter, hit her ears and she ducked down behind a plant as Maya, Lucas, Farkle, and Zay turned the corner. She watched Maya glance inside, then frown, clearly hoping Riley would be there. She tightened her grip on Lucas' hand as he led her inside with Farkle and Zay trailing behind.

Riley turned to watch her friends from the window; they had chosen to occupy the same corner they always had. They laughed, Lucas joked, Farkle shook his head at the joke, Zay would give Lucas a high-five, and Maya would lean her head against his shoulder. It had made Riley sad that she couldn't find it in herself to want to join them; they were her best friends and she couldn't help but think she was being selfish for letting her own wants get in the way of her friendships.

She took a deep breath, stepped out from hiding, and turned on her heel to walk in. But she stopped mid-step; she couldn't do it. She couldn't fight the way her stomach sank at the sight of Maya and Lucas. She couldn't fight the feeling of her heart shattering in two. She knows it's stupid, especially because she was dating Charlie, but it wasn't a feeling she could just stop. Gripping the handle to her umbrella a little tighter, her knuckles were white and her hand was shaking. She tried convincing herself that it was from the cold, but she knew better.

Riley had meant to go in, she really did. Then Lucas had turned and nearly met her eye, and she ran. She bolted up the steps as fast as she could, not expecting a hand to shoot out and grab her arm. As she turned, she found Charlie holding on to her hand.

"Hey." He said over the sound of the rain hitting the pavement. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Oh," She shook her head. "Nothing, I just…I forgot I had to meet Caprice for our project."

"Oh, okay," He stepped underneath her umbrella with her, "I'll walk you then."

"Thank you." Riley smiled up at him and tightened her grip on his hand.

* * *

"Hey, what happened?" Concern filled Maya's voice as Lucas walked back into Topanga's, his clothes clinging to his body. "You're soaking wet."

"I saw Riley." He explained as he sat next to her, running his hands down his face. "I thought she might talk to me about the whole project thing, then Charlie showed up."

"Are you okay?" She put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "What did she say?"

"I didn't catch up to them in time." He sighed, catching the sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Maya."

"It's not your fault." She tried to convince him. "We'll have to keep trying. There's no other choice. Riley's our best friend and I won't stop until we get her back."

"Back from what, exactly?" Farkle asked. "From happiness? She likes being a cheerleader, Maya."

"That's not who she is."

"Maybe not then." He reasoned. "Maybe it is now. People change." He glanced at Maya and Lucas' hands. "Feelings change. She likes being around new people and let's face it, we're all going to move on at some point."

"But for now, we still have each other." She argued, glaring at the fact that he was indicating their relationship was the reason Riley doesn't want to be around. It was something she already knew, she didn't need Farkle to remind her.

"I think we should leave Riley be." Farkle didn't back down; Maya didn't exactly scare him as much as she did in Junior High. "When she's ready, she'll come to us."

"Farkle's right." Zay agreed, nodding his head. "Riley's a tough girl, she can handle whatever's thrown at her."

"She doesn't have to handle anything alone, she should know that." Maya turned her glare to Zay.

"She's not technically alone." Farkle mumbled. "She has Caprice and Charlie to help."

"I'm done with this conversation." Maya stood from her seat abruptly. "I'm getting a muffin. Anyone want anything?"

"Oh," Zay started, "I wan-."

"Nothing?" She interrupted. "Okay." Storming up to the register, she put her head in her hands and sighed; maybe they were right. Maybe Riley needed more space; although, she couldn't believe Riley needed anymore space than she already has. Was it all her fault? Can she really blame Riley for not wanting to be around? She supposed she couldn't. If the roles had been reversed, Maya knew she'd be furious with Riley. But the roles weren't reversed, and Riley wasn't the type of person to be angry at her best friend like that.

"Guys, tone it down a little, yeah?" Lucas asked Farkle and Zay. "Maya's feeling enough pressure without it being thrown in her face that Riley has new friends."

"Maya has to face facts." Farkle said. "She knows better than anyone that nothing's ever been simple with Riley. And this, you guys, it's not something Riley's just going to get over in a night."

"What do you mean?" Lucas didn't want to believe it, he refused; if he was hearing what he thought he was hearing, then it made sense. Why Riley was distant. Why she chose Charlie and Caprice instead of them.

Farkle looked back to see Maya still standing at the counter, talking with Mrs. Matthews. "I'm saying Riley still has feelings for you. And that you and Maya need to make a decision if you want Riley back. This isn't going to be easy, but nothing worth it ever is."

Lucas stared at his hands; Farkle was right, as usual. They couldn't keep pretending that everything would just work out, or that their relationship wasn't affecting Riley when it obviously was. "Riley's dating Charlie, she doesn't have feelings for me anymore."

"Riley isn't going to hold on forever." Farkle grabbed his jacket as he stood up. "She's choosing to move on and we can't fault her for that. I have to go."

"Where?" Maya asked as she made her way back up to them, muffin in hand.

"To meet some friends from my chess club." He grabbed her muffin before running off to avoid being beaten up.

"Hey!" She yelled after him, deciding to let it slide this time.

"And I don't like being a third wheel," Zay threw his hands up, "So, I'll see you guys later."

Maya and Lucas waved him off before sitting back down.

"Did you want another muffin?" Lucas asked her, to which she just shook her head 'no' and laughed.

* * *

 **A week later**

"This is lame." Maya huffed as her and her friends shuffled along the bleachers of their gym; the school had a pep rally at least once a month, and every time it got a little more peppier, and made Maya a lot more annoyed.

"Where's Farkle?" She looked over at Zay, who shrugged.

"Over there." Lucas answered as he pointed across the gym.

Maya turned to find Farkle sitting with a group of people, joking and laughing; she wasn't sure why it bothered her, it just did.

The cheering of their classmates erupted and echoed off the gym walls when the cheerleaders made their entrance. They had gotten into formation with Riley in the middle and Caprice at her side.

Maya felt the jealousy inside her stir as Caprice gave Riley a thumbs up. The routine was new, she noted; Riley was now being tossed around and doing flips in the air. A flier was the technical term in cheerleading, and Riley was just the girl for it.

After the pep rally, Lucas held onto Maya's hand on the way to her locker, staring at the ground and hoping to run in to Riley. He knew it wasn't going to happen, but as luck would have it, there she was. She stood in front of the gym doors with Caprice and Heather, laughing and smiling. But, he noted, there was something different about her smile this time; it looked forced.

Maya had yet to notice Riley just to the right of them, but when she felt her arm being tugged, she turned back to find Lucas staring at Riley. She opened her mouth to speak, only for her to feel his grip tightening on her hand. She winced and looked back to her best friend.

Charlie had come running from around the corner, picking Riley up and spinning her around as usual. Apparently, Riley's new position on the team was a surprise to him and he once again voiced how proud he was of her. His teammates all gathered around them, the seniors ruffling up Riley's hair; they'd considered her a little sister since Charlie had joined the team. In all the excitement Charlie had leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, and Riley being Riley, turned her head at the last second. Their kiss was a surprise to both of them; it being their actual first kiss. Riley was a shy girl and Charlie never pushed.

Charlie had started to pull back, nervous because the last thing he wanted was Riley thinking he wanted to rush them. But it was Riley who held on to his jacket and kept him in place. The cheerleaders squealed, the football team whooped and hollered, and Lucas nearly lost his mind.

Maya looked down at her feet with a frown firmly in place. Tears brimmed her eyes but she refused to allow herself to cry, she wasn't like that. So she tugged on his arm lightly and pretended she didn't even notice his sudden change in mood.

"Come on," She smiled sadly at him, "Or we'll be late."

"Right." He answered stiffly before walking off with her.

Riley was not a brazen girl, but she wanted to convince herself that she could move on from Lucas. She didn't want to think that she used Charlie to do that, but she kissed him because she had to start somewhere; Lucas had been acting strange lately and she didn't want to keep thinking about it. Her kiss with Charlie helped her forget that Lucas had even existed, or she had hoped it would. It was a nice kiss, gentle, but she had expected to feel butterflies, or even a small flutter. But when she found that she felt nothing, it made her want to cry; it wasn't fair of her to do that to Charlie.

She pulled back and threw her arms around his torso, burying her face in his jersey. She felt his arms wrap around her and squeeze her close, kissing the top of her head.

"Are you all right?" He whispered.

"I'm fine." She lied, and she knew he could tell that she wasn't okay.

"Let's get to class." Charlie pulled back to look at her face and sweep the hair out of her eyes. "We'll talk about it later."

"Thank you." Riley sniffled. "For everything."

He simply smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, leading her away from their friends and to class.


	5. Happy New Year!

**I don't like the way I ended this first half of the chapter. I'm sort of runnin' on empty here guys :/**

 **Anyways, like I said, this is only half a chapter, so because it's new year's eve, I thought I'd give you guys a nice little read.**

 **Enjoy, guys. Hopefully.**

 **Much love,**

 **ReesesPieces2112 (:**

* * *

Charlie fiddled with his thumbs as he stared at his hands; he'd been sitting on Riley's couch for about 30 minutes after they had come home from school. Riley was hold up in her room and he understood why. Everyone knew about her feelings for Lucas, so when he heard whispers among his friends that he'd lose Riley to Lucas Friar, it never surprised him the way she reacted to Lucas. It was a wonder to him why she remained his girlfriend for so long. Okay, yes, he knew the situation with Riley, Lucas, and Maya was complicated, and he knew Riley wasn't comfortable around them. Still, that didn't mean she needed him. He understood how lucky he was to have found and been able to have kept a girl like Riley. So, as he sat on her couch and watched the clock hands tick by, his stomach was in knots.

Riley had her face buried in her knees, tears staining her cheeks, and her chest rising and falling heavily as she struggled to control her breathing. This wasn't what she'd imagined her first kiss with Charlie would be like. She thought it would be a happier time. It wasn't lost on her that Charlie was very aware of how she felt about Lucas, it's why she was thankful for him. Had he been any other boy, he'd have broken up with her long ago. But Charlie was patient and kind. He understood more than she ever thought possible. So naturally, it broke her heart when she couldn't give as much as he gave.

The buzzer to their apartment building rang and Charlie sprang up to answer it, hoping it would be a good distraction. "Hello?"

"It's Lucas."

And just like that Charlie's world shifted. If he was nervous before, he was down right terrified now.

"And Maya."

Charlie relaxed his body just a little before buzzing them in, counting the seconds before he heard a knock on the door. Reluctantly, he opened the door to allow Lucas and Maya to step in. "Hey, guys, what's up?"

"Mrs. Matthews said Riley was upset." Maya explained, looking around for her best friend. "Is everything okay?"

"Where is she?" Lucas asked with his eyebrow raised.

"She's in her room." Charlie scratched the back of his head. "She's just not feeling good. I'm waiting for her to come out so we can talk. I don't want to go banging on her door when she isn't up for seeing anyone right now."

Maya took a step in the direction of Riley's room, but Charlie called to her, "Maya, please?"

"I need to see if she's okay." She glared at him.

"I do too, but she's not happy right now, and I'm not going to force this talk on her." He argued.

Maya and Charlie threw digs back and forth about why Riley was upset; 'it was something you did.' Maya accused. 'It was more like something you did.' Charlie shot back. Maya had expected Lucas to come to her defense, but heard nothing. When she looked to him, she found that he'd disappeared.

"Where's Lucas?" Charlie asked her.

"I don't know." She turned down the hall to Riley's room with Charlie following but didn't find him there either. "What the heck?"

* * *

The faint sound of his knuckle gently tapping on the window made Riley jump. She looked to see Lucas sitting right outside, a gentle smile on his face. She wiped away her tears and unlocked her window, sliding it open.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, moving back so he had room to come in.

"Wow. More than one word this time." He joked and closed her window. "It must be my birthday."

Riley rolled her eyes and sat back on her bed. "I don't want to talk, Lucas."

"Riles, come on." He moved to sit in front of her.

"I should um…I gotta go." She was quick to jump up from her spot and run to the door.

"Riley, stop!" Lucas tugged on her arm and spun her around to face him. "Stop, please? And just talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about, really." Riley stepped away from him, tugging on a piece of her hair.

"There's everything to talk about." Lucas felt something in him stir as she took one giant step away from him, like he had some kind of virus. "You're pushing us out, Riley, and I just want to know why."

She met his stare and frowned before putting up the mask she had built so well. "I'm not pushing anyone out. I've just got more going on this year."

"You're lying." He stepped towards her and she took another step back. "Friends don't lie to each other, Riley. _You_ don't lie, Riley."

"Lucas," Riley took a deep breath, "you said we were like brother and sister. That means, as your 'sister' I'm allowed to keep some things to myself. And you, as my 'brother', don't get to question me about it. I don't tell Auggie everything, mostly because he wouldn't understand it anyways, but that's our relationship. That's the way we are, and that's the way I thought you and I would be too. It's easier that way…isn't it?"

"No." Lucas breathed, shaking his head. "How can I help you if you won't talk to me?"

"I don't need your help." She wrapped her arms around herself. "There's nothing wrong, Lucas, why do you keep pushing this?"

"Because you keep pushing us away!" He threw his arms in the air out of frustration. "You keep pushing _me_ away, Riley! This isn't what I wanted! I wanted us to be okay and now…now you can't even stand to be in the same building as me. And Farkle and Zay? They can cut the tension with a knife when we're all together, Riley. They know you're not comfortable, so they're not comfortable, so _I_ ' _m_ not comfortable, Riley."

"Then we won't be friends!" She felt the tears beginning to brim around her eyes and she just wanted out. "We'll go our separate ways, Lucas, so I won't be a bother anymore! It was bound to happen. We're too different now. So much has changed and I don't know what part of me was stupid enough to believe everything would go back to normal. I don't know what part of me was stupid enough to hold on to hope. Because hoping can lead to disappointment. Hope is such a fragile and dangerous thing, and I held on to it like it would just make everything better. Well, it doesn't. And I don't want to hold on to something so pointless anymore."

"Riley, stop." Lucas grabbed her in a tight embrace; he noticed the tears in her eyes and seeing her so broken left him on the brink of crying too. "Please just…stop. If there's one thing about you that I've come to love, Riley, it's your ability to see the better side of things. It's your willingness to make everyone happy even if it means you're not. It's your drive to see the good in people. Don't let go of that, Riley, please? Don't lose who you are because…I can't handle losing you."

"Goodbye, Lucas." She whispered, pulling away from his embrace and walking away. Wiping furiously at her tears, she knew…this was their end. No matter what happened from then on out, they couldn't go back to the way they were.

She didn't really see it coming, neither of them did, until she was suddenly backed against her bedroom door, his lips on hers.

This was not their Junior High kiss, this was far from it; Riley was completely surrounded by Lucas, his arms wrapped around her waist while her hands clung to his shoulders and her body pushed so close to her door, that she was sure she'd be absorbed by it.

Riley bunched his shirt up in her hands; she had tried to pull away but his grip was much stronger than she expected it to be. She thought a kiss like as intense as this one would be more frightening, but it didn't scare her in the least. Instead, it made her upset that Lucas could give her such a feeling of pure joy.

Lucas thought she'd have slapped him away by now, but when she didn't, he couldn't have been happier. Although he knew he'd hate himself later for doing this to Maya, but he wanted to savor the moment he had with Riley. He loved Maya, but the time he spent with her had him realizing, he had loved her like a sister. It was what he had told Riley back in eight grade because he hadn't yet figured out his feelings and Maya was such a mystery to him.

"Wait, stop." Riley had finally gathered enough strength to shove him away. She held a hand to her mouth and let a few tears slip.

"Riley." Lucas breathed, reaching for her again. "Riley, I'm sorry."

She shook her head and held up her free hand to stop him from coming closer. She couldn't believe she had just done that; Maya would hate her now. That thought struck her, she'd lose Maya. She couldn't lose Maya, out of everyone in her life, Maya was one of the few people she couldn't live without. Yes, they weren't very close right now, but she was still a sister to her.

"Get out." She finally spoke up. "Please, Lucas, just go."

"Riley-." Lucas tried.

"Get out!" She screamed loud enough for him to finally take the hint.

He took a step back, his hands clenched into fists; he couldn't push anymore. There was no way she'd forgive him now, he couldn't even forgive himself. He nodded and headed for her window when her voice stopped him.

"Don't tell Maya." She whispered, her voice breaking. "Please?"

Lucas didn't answer her, only stepped out of her room; he wouldn't tell Maya. Only because he knew that Riley wanted to be the one to do it, her pride wouldn't allow her to keep it a secret and her guilt would eat away at her too much.

* * *

 **One Week Later**

Riley stared at Charlie's mouth as he laughed at his friends joke. He glanced at her and she blushed, turning her attention to the ground.

Charlie wasn't naïve. He wasn't so clueless as to not know what had happened when Lucas had snuck into her room last week. She had come out in a daze, fell into his arms, and buried her head into his chest. He had asked Maya to leave because it was clear what happened and he knew Maya had yet to figure it out. She fought with him but he was persistent and finally, she had left after telling Riley to call her if she felt like talking because they were, after all, still best friends.

He turned to her and kissed the top of Riley's head, feeling his shirt being twisted in her grip. He frowned; she hadn't spoken about the incident and it scared him that she was bottling everything up. His friends gave him a light pat on the shoulder before taking off to the cafeteria for lunch.

"Ready?" He asked her gently as he slid his hand into hers.

Riley nodded and fell into step with him. Her stomach was in knots, she wasn't sleeping and she wasn't eating; her kiss with Lucas left her shaken, mostly because she could still feel the butterflies fluttering inside. What really made her angry was that she couldn't make herself feel that way about Charlie, her boyfriend.

Charlie nearly fell back when he felt his arm being tugged on and realizing Riley had stopped walking. "What's wrong?"

"I kissed Lucas." She blurted out then bit her lip. "I'm sorry."

He sighed and pulled her into his arms, wrapping them tight around her. "I know. I know you and Lucas kissed."

"You're not mad?" She whispered into his jersey. "Why aren't you angry with me?"

"Riley." He pulled back and cupped her face after pushing her hair aside. "I don't care about what happened with Lucas. All I care about is that you're okay. I know you still have feelings for him, but I also know that you have some feelings for me too. I know we're just Sophomores and we don't understand most of it, but I like being with you. And all I could ever ask from you was that you're honest, and you have been, so thank you."

"You knew and you didn't say anything?" Riley reached up to wipe away her tears.

"You don't lie, Riley." He explained. "You would have told me when you were ready."

"How can you do this?" She whimpered. "How can you be so patient with me? How can you stand to hold on to someone who doesn't know when to let go? How?! How can you be so amazing to me when I've been terrible to you?! How, Charlie?! How?!"

Charlie stayed silent; this is what he had expected. Riley held everything in and he was just waiting for it to all come out. He just had to remind himself that anything she said had been building up.

"A-And why?!" She stuttered, pulling away from him and scratching her head. "Why would you ever put up with me for so long?! Are you crazy?! A-Are you…are you…?" She couldn't find the words. Riley always had the right words. She ran a hand through her hair and gasped, feeling her chest tightening.

"Riley, calm down, please?" Charlie pleaded, taking her in his arms once again and feeling her body shaking. "It's okay. It's going to be okay. We'll figure everything out, just please…please relax."

Around the corner, a hand was held against a mouth, an attempt to stop the sobbing from echoing in the empty hallway. Maya slid down the lockers and covered her face with her hands. She had come to find Riley after finally tracking Lucas down; he had been avoiding her all week. He had told her that Riley needed her, that they needed to talk and not to push it if Riley refused. She didn't ask questions, she simply turned on her heel and went to find her best friend.

Maya had caught them just as Riley had spoken up about her kiss with Lucas. She had stayed and listened instead leaving them. She didn't know why she did it, she just listened, and waited, and cried. She felt too many things at once; anger, jealousy, hurt, everything mixing around inside and it made her sick.

"Maya?" A voice called from down the hall.

Maya was quick to jump up and run to Farkle, shushing him and pushing him into an empty classroom.

"Maya, what the heck?" He argued, taking in her tears. "What's going on?"

She shook her head, slumping against him and letting her cries out freely as he hugged her close and tried to soothe her.


	6. Don't

**Flashback: Eight Grade Year, New Year's Eve**

" _Riley still loves Lucas_." _Farkle blurted out as the fireworks went off_ , _stopping everyone in their tracks_.

 _Riley lifted the air horn to her mouth and blew on it_ , _calmly stating_ , " _Happy New Year_."

 _After everyone had cleared the roof Riley had pulled Farkle back into her apartment_ , _leaving Maya and Lucas alone_.

" _How does it feel_?" _Maya asked him._

"What do you mean?"

" _How does it feel to know Riley still has feelings for you_?" _She turned to him with a frown._

 _Lucas was dumbfounded; he didn't know how to answer because he didn't know how he felt. What he did know was that there was still a part of him that liked Riley and that part showed when Charlie brought out the 'Couples' Game'. Lucas felt a possessive part come over him when Charlie pointed out the things that Riley often did while on a movie date. How could Charlie know any of it if it hadn't happened? Because it did happen and Lucas didn't want to believe it._

" _I don't know how I feel_." _He answered her honestly and shook his head_. " _I just know I don't want to ruin any friendships we have_."

 _Maya smiled softly and took his hand, weaving her fingers through his_ , " _Nothing bad will happen_. _We're still us and Riley's still Riley_. _We'll be okay_."

 _Lucas looked down at their hands and smiled back at her; he knew it wasn't right. He knew he should have told her the whole truth; that seeing how much Charlie pays attention to Riley to and Riley to him, it ate at Lucas. It made his blood boil and his chest hurt. But Riley was happy, she was happy with Charlie and he'd be happy for Maya because they just wanted the best for each other_.

* * *

" _Why would you do that_?!" _Riley pinched Farkle's arm_.

" _Oww_!" _Farkle swatted her hand away and rubbed at the stinging skin_. " _Because I gave you a chance, Riley, and you weren't going to take it_."

" _That's not your decision_." _Riley's frustration was starting to boil over_. " _I'm sorry if I can't find a better way to deal with this Farkle_ , _but I needed more time_. _I would have told them_. _And not in front of Charlie_."

" _You don't even want to be with Charlie_ , _Riley_!" _Farkle threw his hands in the air_. " _Why are you doing this_? _Why are you forcing yourself to have feelings for somebody else_?"

" _I'm not forcing myself_! _I like Charlie_!" _She put her hands on her hips and took a deep breath_. " _I like Charlie_ , _Farkle_. _I can't_ … _I won't hold on to Lucas forever_ , _that's not fair to anyone_."

" _Maya is your best friend_ , _she'll understand_."

" _I have to understand_. _I have to accept this because you're right_. _Maya's my best friend and she cares about Lucas_ , _they care about each other and I won't stand in the way of that_. _Neither of us should_."

" _But Riley_ -."

" _Goodnight_ , _Farkle_." _Riley shook her head and turned to walk away from him_. _On her way back to the roof she found Charlie with a sleeping Auggie in his arms_.

" _Hi_." _She waved shyly_.

" _Hey_." _Charlie grinned back at her, keeping a tight hold on her little brother_. " _So_ …"

" _I'm sorry_." _Riley began_ , " _I really wish Farkle hadn't said that_."

" _It's okay_." _Charlie laughed as they made their way back to her apartment_. " _Really_."

" _It's not_." _She turned the handle and held the door open for him_ , _leading him to Auggie's room_. " _Charlie_ , _I don't want you to think that I'm using you to make Lucas jealous or_ -."

" _I'd never think that_." _He placed Auggie gently on the bed and walked out with her, making sure to close Auggie's bedroom door_. " _You're not that kind of person, Riley_. _And I know you said we'd be better off as friends_ , _so I'll take that over nothing any day_."

 _Riley stared at her hands and fiddled with her thumbs_. " _Maybe we just need some time_. _You know, to get used to things_."

" _However long it takes_." _He leaned down to kiss her cheek gently before leaving her apartment and a stunned Riley_.

* * *

 **Present Day: Sophomore Year**

Riley was fidgety; after lunch her panic attack had faded with Charlie's help, but still, Charlie insisted she call her mom and that she go home and rest. As she sat in her room with her knees to her chest and her chin resting on them, she contemplated how to tell Maya about her kiss with Lucas. She wouldn't keep it from her. Riley kept many things inside since eighth grade, but that kiss would not be one of them, it wasn't fair.

The soft knock on her door had her looking up to find her mother leaning against it. "Hi."

"How yah feelin'?" Topanga made her way to Riley's bed and sat across from her.

"I'm okay." Riley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Thanks for picking me up from school."

"Sweetheart, are you going to tell me what's going on?" Topanga reached out and squeezed Riley's hand.

"I kissed Lucas. We kissed and Maya doesn't know, but Charlie knows and Charlie's not angry, but I bet Maya would be and I'll lose her." Riley took a huge breath and let it out slowly.

"Wow." Topanga scratched her head; it was a lot more information from Riley that she'd heard in months. "Have you talked to Lucas about it?"

"No." Riley shook her head. "I can't, mom. I can't look at him like I used to."

Topanga sighed heavily and moved to lay beside her daughter, cradling her. "I know things are complicated. And I know you'll find a solution, just like you always do. I think it's very brave of you to tell Charlie and to want to tell Maya. You'll figure something out and I'll be right there with you when you need me."

They had seemed so cozy, he almost didn't want to interrupt, but he had to see if she was okay. He knocked on her bedroom window and gave her a small wave and half-smile.

Riley came up to her window and unlocked it. "Hi."

"You left early." He slipped through her window as Topanga stood from the bed to give them some privacy. "Are you okay?"

"I don't think you should be here, Lucas." Riley wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans and sat back on her bed.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I had to make sure you were all right." Lucas sat with her, looking at his hands. "We need to talk about what happened, Riley."

"We kissed." She stated simply. "We kissed and that's the end of it. Right?"

"Not really. I think the conversation should steer more towards why we kissed."

"Why did you kiss me?" She turned to him suddenly, not as angry as she should have been, but genuinely curious.

"Because I…" He cleared his throat. "I like you, Riley, a lot."

"But you and Maya…"

"I know what happened with Maya. But you were the one who said you wanted to be my sister back in Texas, remember?"

"Because she liked you then." Riley stood from her bed. "Because she stepped away from you when she knew I liked you and I did the same for her."

"I didn't want you to step away from me." Lucas rose too, his voice becoming a little louder. "I didn't want to be your brother, Riley, I wanted to be with you."

"Then why didn't you fight harder?!"

"Because I thought you didn't want me! Because you were with Charlie and I thought you didn't want anything to do with me! Yes, I had feelings for Maya and yes, I had feelings for you, but you pushed me away, Riley. Maya was there and we had fun being together, but seeing you with Charlie only made me believe you were happy with him too."

"I was!" Riley cried, putting a hand to her chest and sniffling. "I was happy with Charlie, and then you…you kissed me, Lucas. You had two years to figure this all out and when you did, you went about it all the wrong way! You don't get to confuse me like this, Lucas. You don't get to make me feel this way about you anymore, Lucas, not after two years!"

"Like what?" Lucas asked, stepping around her bed to face her. "How do I make you feel, Riley?"

"Like us being together would be okay when it wouldn't be." She put a hand on his chest to stop him from getting any closer. "I won't take away Maya's happiness. I won't be the one to cause her pain. She's my best friend and I won't hurt her!"

Lucas grabbed her hand and yanked her forward, tangling his fingers in her hair and dropping his lips to hers.

Riley yelped but couldn't find it in her to pull away. This kiss wasn't as intense as their other one had been, it was softer and made her warm all over. She was out of breath when he pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry, Riley." Lucas whispered. "But I can't do it anymore. I can't watch you and Charlie be a couple anymore."

"Charlie knows." She blurted, stepping away from him and sitting on her bed. "He knows you and I kissed last week. He's not angry, he wants me to be happy. I want him to be happy and I know it won't be with me as long as I have these feelings for you, Lucas."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I can't be around you, Lucas." Riley's eyes never left the floor and she wrung her hands together. "I'm saying that in order for me to feel for Charlie what he feels for me is…to never be around you."

"Riley, that's insane." Lucas sat across from her. "You can't avoid me forever. Especially not after what I just told you."

"I'm sorry." She whispered as she brought her hand up to wipe away her tears. "I'm just…I'm so tired of all the lying, and the fighting, and the keeping things from everybody. I don't want to do it anymore."

"So, don't." He crawled across her bed and rested against her bed frame as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "Don't hide anything from us anymore, Riley. Don't feel like you have to do all this alone. Most, if not all, of this is my fault, I know that. But please don't-."

Lucas glanced down at her to see that she had fallen asleep; it was clear how much sleep she'd lost within the last week. He shifted their bodies so they were both lying flat on their backs and Riley's head on his chest. He watched as her head bobbed up and down gently with his breathing as he wrapped an arm around her.

Lucas didn't know where they'd go from there but there definitely was no turning back now. He loved Riley, he just couldn't say it out loud to her because even the thought of him liking her made her upset. He found himself drifting to sleep soon as well, not caring about the possibilities of what would happen if Mr. Matthews had found them.


	7. Thunder

**Flashback: Eighth Grade Year**

 _It had been almost two weeks before Riley felt comfortable enough to even so much as look at Maya and Lucas again. Since the incident on New Year's Eve, she'd kept her distance and hung around Charlie. She was still angry with Farkle, but she knew he had a point; she had to tell them the truth, but she wanted to do it on her own terms. Now that the truth was out there and it had changed nothing, she understood how saying it shouldn't have been a big deal. Still, the fact that the truth had no affect whatsoever on Lucas made her stomach churn.  
_

 _Riley trusted Lucas, liked him enough to show him the real her, the her that only Farkle and Maya had the privilege of knowing. She knew Lucas would make Maya happy and Maya deserved to smile everyday. Maya was as close to a sister as she'd ever have, she'd give everything to make sure Maya was always happy and vibrant, because that's what Maya deserved._

 _Thunder cracked and Riley jumped so hard she nearly knocked Charlie over._

 _"Whoa, Riley." Charlie grabbed her arm gently and pulled her underneath his umbrella. "You okay?"_

 _"I'm fine." She lied with a shaky breath. "Thanks."_

 _"Where's your jacket?" He shook his head, unzipping his own jacket to throw over her shoulders. "You'll get sick."_

 _Riley felt herself blush as he wrapped the warm material around her. She and Charlie had fallen into a natural pattern as friends; she made decisions that he backed 100%, no matter how ridiculous. She tutored him for finals and would sometimes scold him for not taking notes on the lesson plans. It was comfortable, it was fun, it was...safe. Charlie had made his feelings for her well known and she in turn, suggested they stay friends for the time being. Her feelings for Lucas needed to be gone before she could ever date Charlie; it wouldn't be fair to be with him and always be thinking of Lucas._

 _Opening the doors to their school, Charlie ushered her inside quickly and made sure she didn't slip on the wet floor. He was almost soaking wet but he figured it was worth it as long as Riley was warm and put his hand on hers when she reached for the zipper of his jacket. "Stay warm, please? Wouldn't want your perfect attendance record tarnished because you didn't listen, would you?"_

 _Riley rolled her eyes playfully and pushed at his chest gently, smiling at him. "Thank you for walking me to school, and your umbrella, and your jacket."_

 _He laughed when she listed off the things he had provided while she had gone unprepared, something that she doesn't usually do. He figured with everything going on with her friends, he shouldn't expect her to be as polished as usual. She needed an escape and he was happy to be there for her. Anything to make sure Riley would always be Riley._

 _"Riles." Maya, Farkle, Lucas, and Zay had approached them._

 _"Hi, guys." Riley grinned at her friends, momentarily forgetting everything that happened._

 _"Hey, you haven't called." Maya smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, looking back as Lucas stepped up beside her._

 _"That'd be my fault." Charlie butt in, quickly noticing the frown on Riley's face. "She's been helping me study."_

 _"Oh, yeah." Riley nodded as she turned to him, a silent 'thank you' written all over her face._

 _"Cold, Riley?" Lucas finally spoke, his voice and body tense as he registered the jacket hanging from her shoulders. "I've got some extra gym clothes in my locker if you-."_

 _"I've got Charlie's." She stopped him, not because she wanted to make him jealous, but because Charlie had actually offered on their way to school. She didn't notice the way Lucas grimaced and his fists tightened. "But thank you for the offer."_

 _Charlie wanted to fist pump; for once, Lucas didn't get what he wanted. For once, Lucas Friar didn't get the girl and he didn't know how to handle it. But Charlie wouldn't celebrate because he knew...he knew how Lucas felt about the whole situation because Charlie too had watched from afar and wished Riley would like him back._

 _"I'm gonna go grab those." Charlie referred to the dry clothes sitting in his locker as he tried to diffuse the tension between Riley, Lucas, and Maya. "I'll be right back."_

 _Riley waved him off and ran her fingers through her hair, walking to her locker with her friends in tow. Farkle had yet to say anything, she noticed, probably because she had hurt him when she told him to leave and turned her back._

 _"So, you and Charlie..." Maya tried to make conversation, but she knew that was a long shot as soon as Lucas had offered up his own gym clothes without a second thought. "Are you guys-?"_

 _"We're just friends." Riley clarified, opening her locker and grabbing a book for her first class. "He likes me, but I don't know. I'm not very good at the whole...dating thing."_

 _"Well, you don't know until you try." Maya nudged her shoulder with a playful grin. "Charlie's a nice guy."_

 _"Yeah," Riley couldn't help but soften her gaze at Charlie when he came up to them with his clothes neatly folded and handed them to her. Taking them, she reached over and kissed his cheek before leaving for the girl's room._

 _Lucas looked at his feet and could already feel the glare coming from Zay, who had voiced his opinion on the Maya and Riley situation so many times that Lucas remembered every word of his speech._

 _'Pick one,' Zay would tell him, 'but remember that those girls are the best of friends and one of them is going to get hurt. You just have to be ready to lose one. You have to be ready to face the consequences of not having one in your life. Don't forget their our friends too, so you have to take into account that it's not just you this is affecting, it's all of us.'_

 _Lucas had chosen alright, and Zay had respected his decision, but he would also remind him that, 'you don't get to chose Maya and then turn around and want Riley when she finds someone else. She'll need time, Lucas, so don't push it.'_

 _Zay cleared his throat loudly in attempt to break the silence. "So, Riley's tutoring you, huh?"_

 _Charlie looked at him and shoved his hands into his pockets, "Uh, yeah, we spend a lot of time together."_

 _"Must be fun." Zay let the conversation die there because he hadn't really known Charlie other than the few times he'd seen him with Riley._

 _In the bathroom, Riley had managed to get her hair into a ponytail while Maya bunched up Charlie's much larger shirt and tied the back of it into a knot._

 _"Whoa, Gardner's got some muscle." Maya pulled at the fabric; even tied it was still a little too big for Riley's small frame. "So, you really can't see yourself with him? Not even on a second date?"_

 _"Maybe." Riley examined herself in the mirror. "We're only in middle school, why is this stuff so important?"_

 _"It's not." Maya agreed and shrugged her shoulders, "But we're going into high school, Riles, things are changing. Why fight it?"_

 _Riley turned and pulled her best friend into a tight hug. "We'll always be sisters. That will never change."_

* * *

 **Present Day**

Riley stared in her reflection in the door length mirror and frowned; it was the night of the homecoming dance, she was going with the most amazing guy, she had a gorgeous dress…but she felt empty. Maybe it was because it had been three weeks since she last kissed Lucas and _still_ hadn't told Maya.

"You look beautiful." Her mother said from behind her, pushing a few curls over Riley's shoulder.

"Thank you." Riley smiled back at her. "Where's dad?"

"The usual place." Topanga sighed, "On the couch, staring down Charlie in hopes that he'll scare him enough to never come around again."

"Naturally." She smiled and shook her head, reaching for the door knob and pulling her door open.

As she and her mother made their way into the living room, her little brother greeted her. Auggie held out a beautiful corsage that matched her blue dress perfectly.

He beckoned her lower and whispered, "I'm s'possed to say anything, but Charlie got it for you and said I could give it to you."

Riley giggled and kissed his forehead; the fact that Charlie and Auggie got a long so well was something she loved. She finally stepped in front of Charlie and he grinned.

"Riley, you look gorgeous." Charlie held out his hand and tangled their fingers together.

"Couldn't have said better myself." Cory Matthews put his hand on Charlie's shoulder and pulled him away from Riley to hug her. "Please don't go."

"Dad." Riley whined and struggled to break free.

"Honey, honey." Topanga finally managed to pry Cory off and nudge her daughter towards Charlie. "Enjoy the dance, you two."

Riley waved goodbye, taking Charlie's hand once again and walking out the door, immediately bursting into laughter with her boyfriend.

"I really do love spending time with your dad." Charlie joked as they made their way downstairs.

* * *

Farkle had been staring at Maya and Lucas all night. Ever since Maya had broken down in his arms, he made sure to look after her. It had been a few weeks and he knew that Lucas could tell something was off.

"What are you staring at?" Zay questioned, taking a sip of his punch.

"Something happened between Lucas and Maya." Farkle explained. "I'm just making sure no one gets hurt."

"What happened?"

Farkle bit his bottom lip; Zay was a good friend and trustworthy, but no one other than himself and Riley had ever seen Maya like that, and even then it was rare that she'd come to them when she was feeling that way. Also, after the whole New Year's Eve thing in middle school, he knew better than to open his mouth about something that needed to be figured out privately.

"I'm not really sure." Farkle lied and Zay simply nodded. "But you can just feel it, can't you?"

"Definitely." Zay glared at Lucas' back; he had warned him time and time again what this would do to all of them and yet, Lucas didn't listen. "Think it has to do with Riley?"

Farkle stiffened and followed his gaze to Riley smiling up at Charlie while his hands rested on her waist and hers on his shoulders. "I don't uh...I don't think so."

"Huh." Zay watched Lucas glance in Riley's direction, something he knew Maya caught as well.

* * *

"Charlie?" Riley swayed to the beat of the slow song.

"Hm?" He looked down at her, moving ever so slowly to savor the moment before she brought up what he was afraid to hear.

"Why aren't you angry that I kissed Lucas?" Riley knew better than to push it. Charlie had already explained why he wasn't upset and it wasn't fair of her to keep asking.

"Because you're here with me." He smiled at her, pushing her away and twirling her right back into his arms. Resting his forehead against hers, he said, "Because, even though I know you'd never hurt Maya, you could be with Lucas if you wanted to. And because if you wanted to hurt me, you would have never told me about you and Lucas."

"What if I _wanted_ to hurt you by telling you?"

"Then you wouldn't have been so nervous about it." He responded quickly. "You're not that kind of person, Riley, to intentionally hurt someone doesn't run in your veins. You don't even like leaving rat traps around your house." He joked, moving back to kiss her forehead.

"They're not hurting anyone." She frowned. "They need to live too."

"Auggie got bit by one, remember?"

"Only because he wouldn't leave it alone," She countered, "remember _that_?"

Charlie conceded and laughed. "You got me there. Why ask about the kiss anyways? Is it...still on your mind?"

"I haven't told Maya," Riley looked away, ashamed that she'd kept such a secret from her. "Am I a bad person?"

"Never." He held her close. "Everything will be okay, Riley. We'll make everything okay."

"Promise?" She whispered against his coat where she'd buried her head.

"Promise." Charlie closed his eyes, knowing their time would soon be coming to an end; Riley loved Lucas, she could deny it all she wanted, but it was true. In the past couple of years, he noticed that Lucas loved her too. While they were still just in high school, they weren't incapable of love, not entirely. They had many years ahead of them, but they were living for the now, and right now Riley and Lucas' hearts had belonged to each other. Yes, people would be hurt, i.e. Maya and himself, but he had actually _hoped_ Riley and Lucas would be happy.

* * *

Maya tried her best to put on a fake smile; it's not as if she _didn't_ notice how Lucas' eyes immediately zeroed in on Riley and Charlie. It's not like she _didn't_ notice the hurt that flashed across his face. But, like everyday for the past two school years, she brushed it off. She knew that Lucas and Riley had kissed, and she didn't hold it against them, she only wished they would just tell her already instead of thinking she was clueless about the whole thing.

It didn't take a genius to know what happened in Riley's room when they'd gone to visit. She actually even asked him about it, to which he only shook his head and spouted out some lie about how Riley had just been under too much stress and she needed to be alone.

As her and Lucas swayed to the song playing over the speakers, she asked him, "Are you feeling okay?"

Lucas crinkled his nose, confused, "Of course. Why?"

"You don't seem too happy to be here, is all." Maya shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

"I am." He insisted; truth was, he was feeling awful about lying to her about Riley and their kisses. While he enjoyed every second of it, he knew it would all come crumbling down the second all three of them addressed it. He loved Maya, he really did, just not the way he loved Riley. But Riley was with Charlie and he had fun being with Maya, so he tried to make it work.

"I'm sorry." Lucas sighed and shook his head. "My mind is off somewhere else. I don't mean to ruin the night, Maya, really. I'm happy we're here. I'm happy to be here with you. I'm just thinking too much, so I'm sorry."

Maya smiled softly at him; somehow, knowing that he was genuinely having a good time with her actually made her feel better. They hadn't been themselves lately and she just wanted to get back to that, to being Lucas and Maya, even if it were just as friends at this point. Everyone that went to middle school with them knew that Riley and Lucas would end up together, and deep down she knew it too. But first, she just wanted to enjoy being wanted by someone that wasn't her mom. Someone that saw all her flaws and loved her for it, despite how stubborn and hardheaded she could get. Lucas did that for her; he looked past the bad and found the good. He made it come out and she became a different person around him. She just wanted to enjoy it before it all went away.


	8. You're All I Want

Charlie twirled Riley around and she giggled when she spun back into his embrace. They were happy together, they made sense, and they never pressured each other for anything. So this tension that started in Riley's neck and moved up to the back of her head shouldn't be there. A migraine should not occur when she was with someone she truly cared about. Yet, it was.

She had a splitting headache that only got worse as she faked a smile through another song. Clinging to Charlie's shoulders, she sighed heavily and leaned into his chest. "This has been…fun."

"Fun?" Charlie smiled down at her; he didn't think she could have fun with him anymore since Lucas.

"Very fun." Riley corrected. "I'm sorry, Charlie."

"Stop apologizing. It's okay, Riley, it really is."

"You deserve better." She mumbled into his dress shirt. "You should know, you deserve so much more."

"Riley, you're all I want." He kissed the top of her head. "I think you're amazing and I can't see myself with someone else. I won't stand in the way of your happiness, whether it's with me or with Friar. I just want you to be happy."

"I'm happy with you, Charlie. I really am. I'm just so confused." She twisted his shirt in her hands and drew in a shaky breath.

"Come on." Charlie pulled back and took her hand, leading out of the gym and into the hallway where they sat against some lockers.

Riley sat so close to him that she was practically in his lap and rested her head on his shoulder. "I don't mean to make this night such a bummer."

"A bad night? With you?" He chuckled. "Nothing's ever a bad anything with you, Riley."

"I don't know. I mean, I've made some pretty bad decisions."

"With the best intentions."

She peeked up at him, taking in the content on his face even though she had a sour attitude. Charlie was a handsome boy, no doubt, and most of the Sophomore girls wanted to be with him. Pride swelled in her chest as she realized he never once strayed, never even _almost_ strayed from her. Charlie was invested in her one hundred percent. He cared for her. He protected her. He…loved her.

Charlie grew nervous at the way Riley had gone silent and he started squirming; did he say something wrong? Had he assumed something he shouldn't have? He looked down at her just as her hand moved up to tangle in his hair and pull him into a kiss; their second kiss, to be exact.

* * *

Lucas had been getting him and Maya some punch when he noticed Charlie pull Riley into the hallway. He was curious, but he was also smart enough to remember that Maya was his girlfriend and Riley was…with Charlie. He gripped the cup in his hand so tight that he almost shattered it.

"Whoa, kung fu death-grip." Maya joked as she took a cup from him and set on the table they were gathered around. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." Lucas shook his head and tried to keep his eyes locked on hers, but he was failing. Miserably.

She wanted to believe him, she really did. But she glanced around the room and noticed the one person he was looking for, was gone. Frowning, she took the other cup from his hand and patted his shoulder. "You should go find her."

"What?" Lucas swallowed the lump in his throat. What was she suggesting? "Maya, I don't think-."

"Lucas, go." She interrupted and pushed him gently. "We knew this was coming. Or at least, I knew. Ever since New Year's Eve in eighth grade…I knew. I should have said something, but Riley insisted that she moved on. Even after Farkle blurted out that she still loved you, she kept her distance. Lucas, between you and Charlie, it's you. With Riley, it will always be you."

He reached up and used his thumb to wipe away her tears before pulling her close. "I'm so sorry, Maya. I never meant to hurt you."

"You didn't." She promised and faked a smile at him. "I think I hurt myself by thinking everything was going to be okay. As much as I wanted it to be, nothing was ever going to go back to normal. So, go, Lucas, before it's too late and she chooses Charlie again."

Lucas kissed her forehead before turning and sprinting out of the gym, leaving Maya to plop down in a chair and hold a hand against her chest.

She buried her head in her hands and tried to keep the tears from flowing; she'd known all along what Riley felt for Lucas and what Lucas felt for Riley, but neither of them wanted to do anything about it. Riley had stepped back for her in eighth grade, as she'd stepped back for Riley when they first met Lucas.

Maya had known Riley for ages; Riley was not a selfish girl. She'd give her life for Maya and Maya would do the same.

"Maya?" Farkle pulled up a seat next to her and pushed her hair out of her face, "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Farkle," Maya breathed and threw herself into his arms, squeezing him tight and burying her face into his jacket.

Farkle, startled, wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back to soothe her. He looked to Zay, who slammed his glass of punch on the table and stormed out to find Lucas.

* * *

Riley pulled back from Charlie, out of breath and blushing; she'd never done that before, not really. She smiled at his flushed face, her headache long gone, and leaned in to kiss him once more.

Charlie let Riley take control; she was fragile and tiny in comparison to him. He kept his hands locked together on his own knees and breathed in deeply; what had gotten into her?

And the thought hit him like a freight train; had the punch been spiked? Was Riley drunk and imagining he was Lucas?

"Charlie?" She questioned as he jumped up and took two big steps away from her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just…" He ran a hand through his hair and scratched his head. "It's getting late. Do you want to go home?"

"Oh, um," Riley looked down at her hands, clearly embarrassed by her actions, "Okay." She took his hand and he helped her off the floor, tangling their fingers together.

Charlie wanted to kick himself for rejecting her; she was his girlfriend, she wanted to kiss him, but she was confused about her feelings and he would not take advantage of her.

"I'm sorry." She blurted out as he turned to face her. "I didn't mean to…I know I'm not exactly the best kisser, but-."

"No." He stopped her, realizing what she had been thinking. "Oh, God, no, Riley. This isn't about any of that. I didn't stop us because I thought you were bad at it. I stopped because of Lucas, because of what you feel for him. You said it yourself, Riley, you're confused. I don't want you making the wrong decision."

Riley huffed and took a step toward him. "Lucas made his decision, Charlie. That doesn't mean I chose you by default. I want to be with you because you know me. You understand me and all of my goofy, weird quirks. I want to be with you because you know me better than I know myself."

" 'Want'." Charlie repeated as if he'd never heard the word. "As in present tense, as in now, as in-."

"Today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow." She tugged at his jacket and snaked her arms around his neck. "Want as in yes, now."

"You can always change your mind, Riley." He dropped his forehead to hers and wrapped his arms around her waist. "If you choose me today and want Friar tomorrow…I don't know if I can handle that. If you're not sure, then don't kiss me, Riley. Please, don't kiss me."

* * *

Lucas didn't stay to watch what happened. He turned on his heel and ducked into an empty classroom. His heart hammered in his chest, he couldn't breathe, and tears prickled his eyes.

He'd gone to find her, to tell her how he felt, and hoped she felt the same. His stomach dropped and he punched the desk he was leaning on. He had been too late; she chose Charlie. He punched the desk again, feeling the wood crack underneath his knuckles.

"Dude." Zay whispered, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around, ready to rip him a new one for hurting Maya. He stopped once he saw how much Lucas was affected by what they had both just seen.

"What?" Lucas snapped, his breathing ragged and his face red from anger. "What, Zay? Did you come to tell me I'm an idiot? That I should know better? That I'm a monster for hurting not just one, but both girls? Save it, because there's nothing you can tell me right now that I don't already know."

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry, man." Zay squeezed his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Lucas." He looked down at his best friend's bloody hand and sighed. "Come on, man, let's get your hand bandaged up."

Lucas let Zay lead him to the bathroom where he held his fist underneath cold water, the stinging not as painful as what he felt in his chest. The image of Riley and Charlie flashed in his mind again and again, giving him the urge to reach out and punch the mirror with his other hand.

"Jesus, Lucas!" Zay scolded him and forced his hand underneath the water. "Dude, you have got to get control of yourself. How are you supposed to talk to Riley when you're this worked up?"

"I'm not." Lucas dropped his head to stare at the blood running down the drain. "It's over, Zay. I screwed up and now I'm paying the price. I dug my own grave, Zay. I never deserved either of them."

Zay opened his mouth to respond, instead chewing his lower lip; he wanted to tell him. But Lucas needed to come to that realization on his own. He needed to suffer the consequences of letting this mess turn into a disaster. Lucas had to feel what Riley felt in middle school and what Maya was feeling now, heartbreak. Total and utter devastation of seeing someone you love, fall in love with someone else.

He wanted to tell him, though, because out of all the years knowing Lucas, he'd never seen him like that. He'd never seen Lucas so numb that he didn't realize he probably broke both hands by how hard he punched the desk and the bathroom mirror. He wanted to tell him…Riley didn't kiss Charlie.

* * *

 **Short, rushed, awful. Please enjoy anyways.**

 **Much love,**

 **ReesesPieces2112 (:**


	9. Exhausted

**I don't know why, but I was listening to "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" By Cher, from the movie Burlesque. And once I started writing, I couldn't stop. It's a good song and I think it fits well with the Riley, Maya, and Lucas situation in my story. Maybe it's just me, but this is the result. Enjoy guys.**

 **Much love,**

 **ReesesPieces2112 (:**

* * *

Riley pushed her backpack strap higher up her shoulder, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she approached her locker. Dialing the combination, she shrieked when balloons came tumbling out of her locker.

"Happy Birthday!" Caprice ran to her with the rest of the cheer leading team and nearly tackled her.

"Sorry," Heather laughed and hugged Riley, "it was all Caprice's idea."

Riley gave them a small smile and mumbled a thank you before turning back to her locker and seeing a picture of her and Charlie taped on the inside of the door. Her breath hitched and she could feel the tears coming.

"Riley," Caprice frowned and looked at the picture, "what happened?"

"I think Charlie and I broke up." Riley hiccuped; he hadn't called her all weekend, not since the dance.

"What?" Heather gasped and ushered the rest of the team away. "Why?"

Riley shook her head and brushed past them, clutching her books tight to her chest and turning the corner.

"Riley, wait!" Caprice shut Riley's locker, running after her with Heather in tow. They had turned in time to watch Riley barrel into Charlie and knock him into the ground. She winced and made her way to them.

"Charlie." Riley scrambled away from him and bumped into Caprice and Heather. "I'm sorry."

"Are you okay?" He asked, standing and brushing off his jeans. Smiling, he joked, "Where's the fire?"

"Are you serious right now?" Heather scoffed and put her hands on her hips.

Charlie raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Um, yes?"

"Gardner, you've got some nerve." She grit her teeth and stepped towards him as he stepped back with his hands raised.

"What did I do?" He asked nervously, glancing at Riley.

"You broke up with Riley and you think you can just-." Heather poked his chest and tried to shove him back.

"I what?" Charlie stepped around Heather and walked up to his girlfriend, pushing the hair from her face. "Riley, you think I…"

"Didn't you?" She whispered as she turned from him and realized that some students had stopped on their way to class to watch them.

He looked around them as well, taking her hand and leading them away for some privacy; their classmates loved drama, especially between a couple. Stopping in a deserted hallway, he faced her. "Why would you think I broke up with you?"

"Because of what happened at the dance." Riley bit her bottom lip and leaned against a nearby wall. "Because you said if I had any doubt about us, that I shouldn't kiss you again, and I didn't. You didn't call this weekend, I thought-."

"Riley, you needed time." Charlie explained gently and reached out to hold her hands, laughing as he realized she still had her books tucked safely against her. "You needed space. You chose not to kiss me because of your feelings for Lucas and I respect that, Riley, I respect you. I didn't call you because I thought you needed to figure things out."

"I don't want to be alone!" She cried, tightening her hold on her books and shaking. "I don't want to be left alone, Charlie, because when I'm alone all I do is think. I don't want to think about Lucas and this complete mess of a situation. I don't want to think about how awful I am to you, Charlie, and I don't want to think about how incredibly stupid I've been! I don't want to hurt you, Charlie. I don't want to hurt Maya. I don't want to lose any of this."

"Riley, we knew what this was when it started," He shook his head and cupped her face to keep her calm; Riley was an affectionate person, and while she may not have been as affectionate with him, he knew she still appreciated the gesture. "We knew how this would end up one day and I still wanted to be with you. You're not hurting me, Riley, you never could. I know you tried, you tried to feel for me what you feel for Lucas, but I don't want you to force that. Don't force it, Riley. Be in love with Lucas, that's okay, but please don't try and push those feelings away. Look at what it's doing to you, Riley, you think I didn't notice?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Riley looked to her feet and took in a deep breath, feeling like her chest was ready to explode.

"When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?" He asked her seriously. "Because you look so exhausted, Riley, and I'm worried about you. Did you even remember it was your birthday?"

She snapped her eyes to him; no, she hadn't remembered. She didn't even realize it earlier when the team attacked her with hugs and birthday wishes. She had been so consumed and overwhelmed by her world that she hadn't even remembered what day it was. Stomping her foot and letting her tears fall, she tried to move away from him, but he held her still. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you." Charlie hugged her close smoothed out her hair. "You're tired, Riley. You want things to work out, but trying to force everything back to normal isn't good for you."

"I don't want to be alone today." Riley gasped in between sobs. "Please, Charlie, I don't want to be alone today."

"I know," He mumbled into her hair and kissed her head, "you won't be. I promise."

* * *

Maya, Farkle, Zay, and a reluctant Lucas had been waiting all morning to see Riley and wish her a happy birthday. Maya and Lucas hadn't spoken since the dance and she kept close to Farkle as they entered the school. She did notice his bandaged knuckles and almost asked about it, but decided against it when Zay met her eye and shook his head.

Lucas hadn't slept well or ate anything at all during the weekend; not only had he screwed up his relationship with Maya, but he hurt her in ways that he had never wanted to. He couldn't even look her in the eye when they had all met up across the hall from Riley's locker. When she stepped through the doors, he held his breath; Charlie wasn't at her side like usual and she barely missed running into another student. Had something happened? Did Charlie hurt her?

Lucas clenched his fists at the thought; if Charlie had hurt Riley, he'd pay for it. But then he watched as balloons tumbled out of her locker and her team ran up to her. He watched her fake a smile and turn to stare at something on the inside of her locker door and her body tense up. He watched Caprice and Heather comfort her before she took off around the corner, her friends following.

The four of them darted after Riley, Caprice, and Heather, each hoping she was okay. They stopped along with a crowd of their classmates as Heather scolded Charlie, poking his chest and intimidating him. Lucas had to look away when Charlie softened his gaze on Riley and cupped her cheek. None of them heard the conversation and only Maya followed them when Charlie hauled Riley away.

They hadn't seen her just around the corner when Charlie and Riley argued. They didn't know she'd been listening and her heart broke with every word Riley said. She bit back her tears and leaned her head back against the wall; Riley never meant to hurt any of them. She only wanted everyone to be happy and she thought that by letting go of Lucas, everything would be okay.

"Maya."

Maya jumped and whirled around to find Farkle, arms crossed and a frown firmly in place. "I-I was just-."

He didn't let her finish her sentence before storming up to her and wrapping her in a tight embrace. He felt his jacket being tugged on as she slumped against his frame and shook her head.

"This is wrong, Farkle." She whispered and felt him nod. "This never should have happened. We never should have kept going like Riley would get over it. We should have been there for her, Farkle, we should have never let her push us away. She's broken, Farkle."

"We all are," He insisted and looked down at her, "Maya, we're all broken. But you know we can fix it. We can fix us. We just need time."

"Thank you." Maya closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax in his arms; Farkle was always the voice of reason and if they'd all just listened from the beginning, it could have all been avoided.

* * *

Zay sat with Lucas on a bench near their first period class; he would have gone with Farkle to check on Maya, but leaving Lucas alone didn't seem like a good idea. He stared down at his hands, unsure of what to say.

"You don't have to be here." Lucas offered, noticing how Zay fidgeted. "You should go check on Maya."

"Nah." Zay shook his head and laughed. "I think Farkle's better equipped to handle Maya than I am."

Lucas smiled and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry we dragged you guys in the middle of this, Zay. We didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"Lucas, you guys were…" Zay started, but couldn't find the right words to make him feel better. "I think deep down, we all knew that Riley still loved you. We all knew she was hurting and none of us made a move to stop it, so in the end we all ended up hurt."

"Maya and Riley the most." Lucas let out a frustrated sigh. "I never meant for them to get hurt like this, Zay. This should have gone better. I should have been better for them."

"You could only be you," Zay shrugged his shoulders, "you tried your best, Lucas. Well, you could have tried your best, but this was inevitable. Those girls fell for you and when you chose one, we all knew what the result would be." He glanced down at Lucas' hands wrapped in bandages and knew he was going to regret saying it, "There's something you should know."

Lucas looked at Zay and nodded to signal him to go on.

"Riley didn't kiss Charlie the last time the night of the dance."


	10. Unsteady

**I don't think I like the way I ended this one. Let me know.**

 **ReesesPieces2112**

* * *

"What?" He swallowed thickly and his breath hitched; was he hearing that correctly?

"Riley walked away from Charlie just after you went into the classroom." Zay admitted and grit his teeth. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"So, why are you telling me now?"

"Because I think it's time everything comes out in the open." Zay sighed heavily. "Lucas, everyone has some explaining to do and I think everyone needs to hear it all out."

"I think he's right." Farkle walked up to them with his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. He looked to Maya, whose eyes were still red from crying. "No one is innocent in all of this. We all knew what we were doing and so did Riley, no one is to blame more than any other."

Maya wanted to beg to differ; she didn't ask for any of this. She never asked Riley to tell Lucas about her feelings. She never asked Lucas to grab her face that night at the campfire. She never wanted anything to spin so out of control; there were so many things she already had to deal with, losing her friends should not have been one of them.

She looked at her feet; but Farkle was right. If she didn't want to lose Riley, she would have never agreed to date Lucas in the first place. She wasn't entirely at fault, but she wasn't entirely innocent either. She knew the consequences of what she'd be doing, but because Riley had pushed so hard, she gave in. She gave in to her feelings for Lucas and for a while, unbeknownst to her friends, she blamed Riley for practically forcing them together and then walking away.

Lucas stared at his hands. Of course Farkle was, yet again, right about everything. He couldn't blame Riley, he couldn't blame Maya, he blamed himself. If he had just kept pushing Riley those days they were in Texas, there wouldn't have been a decision to be made. He wanted to be with Riley then, but instead she called him her brother, kept her distance from him, and then told him about Maya. Even then, he'd stood and didn't let Riley walk away from him, demanding to be heard because he didn't think of her as a sister. But she did walk away and he and Maya were left to figure things out.

He liked Maya, he really did, but it was always Riley. It was her drive to make everyone happy even if she couldn't be. It was the way she smiled a little too big and her tongue poked against her teeth and the outline of her dimples showed. It was her ability to make him brave and face his fears. It was everything about Riley that made her special and made Lucas fall in love with her.

But it had angered him when he realized she blurted out Maya's feelings without consent. He was angry that Riley pulled away from them after she'd done so and joined a new group of friends. She'd insisted throughout middle school that nothing would change, but here they are in their Sophomore year of high school and she'd stopped hanging out with them to be a cheerleader and Charlie Gardner's girlfriend. It made him even angrier when he couldn't stop thinking about how it could have all been avoided if he just kept pushing her back in Texas, but he knew it wouldn't have mattered; Riley was strong willed and wouldn't have told him a thing if it meant he wanted to be with her and not Maya.

* * *

Riley sat in chemistry class, chewing on her pen and trying to concentrate on the day's lesson. But she could feel someone staring at her, boring into her frame and giving her chills. She looked to her left.

Caprice was in the seat next to her with her chin propped on her hand and a little doodle sitting in the corner of her notebook.

So Riley looked to her right.

Another upperclassman, Kevin, had been tapping his fingers against the desk, not a single note written down.

She turned to look behind her and her breath hitched; Lucas.

Lucas hadn't taken is eyes off of her since class started and he had to admit, it was a little entertaining to watch her squirm; paranoia was trademark Riley. Though she tried not to let things bother her, he knew she was always concerned about what could happen.

Whipping around in her seat, Riley brought a hand up to her chest as if it would calm her erratic heartbeat.

"Riley?" Mr. James' voice startled her and she jumped in her seat. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." She nodded and sat up straight as she'd been slouching in hopes of hiding away from Lucas.

"Are you sure? Because you can skip out of the pep rally today if you're not feeling well."

'Pep rally?' She thought as she looked at Caprice, who nodded in agreement with Mr. James. She shook her head. "I'm fine."

"If you insist." Mr. James frowned and wrote two hall passes. "You and Ms. O'Hare are expected in the gym, so you can make up the rest of today's lesson after school."

Riley nodded and took the slip from him, pausing in the doorway to wait for Caprice to gather her things. She glanced at Lucas, who still hadn't looked away from her.

Caprice tugged on her arm and led her to the gym. "Riley, come on, you're so not okay. What's going on? I thought you worked things out with Charlie."

"I did." Sort of. She sighed heavily and stepped into the girls' locker room where the rest of the team had been getting ready. "I just have this feeling. I don't know how to describe it."

"You're thinking too much." Caprice opened her locker and pulled out her uniform. "Whatever happened with Charlie, it'll be okay. Whatever happened with Maya, it'll be okay. Whatever happened with Lucas, everything will be okay."

"How…?" Riley stopped dialing her locker combination and gaped at her.

"You really think I didn't notice him staring at you in class?" She smiled. "Give me a little more credit. And the way Maya bolted after you earlier, I knew something was definitely going on."

"Maya what?" Riley swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Maya ran after you and Charlie earlier. You didn't see her?"

No. No. No. No!

Riley turned on her heel and sprinted out of the locker room, ignoring Caprice calling after her. She had to find Maya, she had to explain, she had to...

* * *

Pumping her legs faster, she rounded a corner to find Maya sitting against her locker, sketchbook in hand and ear buds in, drowning out any noise.

Maya hadn't noticed anyone in the hall with her until they stood above her, a shadow casting over her sketch and irritating her. Pulling the headphones from her ears, she scoffed and looked up at the person to yell at them. "Riles?"

Riley didn't speak; she couldn't catch her breath. She didn't know what she was going to say, or what she could say to explain how horrible of a friend she's been.

"Riley?" Maya dropped her sketchbook on the floor and stood up to face her. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Maya smiled nervously. "Sorry for…?"

"For ignoring you." Riley played with her hands and chewed on her bottom lip. "For being an awful friend. For letting Caprice talk to you the way I have. For causing so much trouble. I'm just sorry, Maya."

"Riles, it's okay." Maya reached out for her, but she took a step back and shook her head. "Riley, please, it's really okay."

"Maya, stop." Riley pleaded as tears threatened to fall "Please. It's not okay and I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"No, it is okay." Maya took a step towards her and choked back her tears. "It's okay. I get it now."

"Get what?!" Riley cried out. "I don't understand!"

"Lucas loves you, Riley." Maya clarified for her. "He loves you and I know this. I know this because…when he looks at you…it's the way he could never look at me. Like you're his everything. Like his world could stop spinning at any moment when he's not with you."

"No!" Riley tugged at her hair, her frustration rising. "No, he can't! He can't because it's not right."

"Who says?" Maya breathed as her voice wavered. "Who says he can't be in love with you, Riley? You? Because that's not fair. Because you can't keep thinking you know everyone's feelings, Riley. You can't keep telling everyone how things should go and you can't keep pushing everything away! This isn't middle school anymore, Riles, and this isn't Texas. What happened, happened and you need to own up to your feelings. You can't keep pushing me and Lucas together and you can't keep your feelings to yourself. _That's_ not right. Lucas is in love with you and you love him too, so _stop_ trying to make everything work when nothing is."

"Maya, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not good at this. I'm sorry I can't be the better friend. I am...so sorry." Tears poured down Riley's cheeks as she wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I did this to you guys. I tore our friendships and your relationship apart. I've been selfish enough. I hurt you, Maya, and I never meant to. I only wanted you to be happy and I thought that if I stuck around while you and Lucas were together, I would have only made everyone miserable. I thought if I left, it would be easier. I thought if I stopped being around you and Lucas, I could be better at accepting it. I know this is all my fault, I know I'm to only one to blame for all of this happening, and I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it, but I am sorry, Maya, and I don't think you should forgive me."

"But Riley…" Maya tried to be the reasonable one this time; she had never seen Riley so undone.

"I have to go." Riley shook her head and stepped away, wiping her tears with her jacket sleeve. "We have a pep rally in five minutes."

"Riles, I don't think-." Maya didn't get the chance to finish her sentence before Riley turned on her heel and walked down the hall. "Riley!"

* * *

Zay and Farkle stepped into the gym with Lucas and Maya.

Maya hadn't told them what happened, she wanted to talk about it with Riley some more before letting their opinions and ideas get in her head. She didn't mean to say all those things to Riley, but she was glad she did. The weight was lifted off her shoulders and she needed to hash it out with her best friend even more.

Sitting at the top of the bleachers in the gym, the four of them waited as the principal went over some academic achievements, sports schedules and try outs, and announcing the playoffs for the football team. Cheers erupted around them as he announced each football player one by one and their positions. Even more screaming echoed off the walls when he said Charlie's name, one of the few Sophomores to make the varsity team that year.

Lucas felt his fists clench as Charlie smiled sheepishly and looked to Riley. He also felt a little bit of relief as he noticed Riley hadn't been paying attention, then concern hit him when she put a hand to her head and winced.

"Riley, are you okay?" Caprice asked her, wrapping her fingers around the wrist Riley held up to her forehead.

"I'm fine." She nodded, feeling that tension in her head again and feeling it pound against her skull; she was so not fine. She shook it off as the principal joked about being done with his boring announcements and beckoned the cheerleaders onto the floor.

Caprice frowned at Riley as they got into formation and the music began. She caught Heather's attention and motioned to their friend.

Heather nodded and kept a close eye on Riley as she faked a smile at the crowd.

Riley began to feel dizzy, but she ignored it as the girls turned to her and she knew that's when they would be doing the lift.

Maya sat at the edge of her seat, clutching on to Farkle's arm as she realized Riley wasn't looking too good. "Something's wrong."

"You're right." Farkle watched the cheerleaders lift Riley high into the air and she seemed to lose a little bit of her balance. "Oh, no."

"Riley!" Maya, Zay, Farkle, and Lucas screamed.

The loud _thud_! from her head hitting the gym floor echoed, stopping everyone in their tracks.


	11. Why?

**This was...total and complete crap and I apologize.**

 **Much love,**

 **ReesesPieces2112**

* * *

"Oh my God, Riley!" Caprice ran to her as everyone else also began to crowd around her. "Riley! Riley!"

"Riles!" Charlie barreled through his peers with teachers and Lucas.

"Everyone back up!" The principle charged through the crowd of students to reach Riley, only to find her already surrounded by Lucas, Charlie, and Caprice.

"Do something!" Caprice sobbed out, directing her cries at Lucas and Charlie even though the rational part of her knew they couldn't really help.

Lucas was at a loss; he had no clue what he was supposed to do. He looked to his friends, who had finally made their way to them before kneeling next to Riley.

Maya dropped to her knees on the other side of Riley, sniffling. "Riles? Riles, please, please wake up."

Charlie leaned down next to Maya. "Mr. James says the ambulance is on their way."

Lucas scratched his head and just stared at her unconscious body. His left arm came underneath her back to lift her up while his right hand supported her neck. He cradled her close to his chest and pushed the hair from her face. Leaning his forehead against hers and allowing his tears to flow down, he whispered, "Riley. Riley, you have to wake up. Please. This never should have happened. I should have told you from the beginning, Riles, I'm so sorry. Just wake up for me, please."

Riley came to, gasping and coughing violently. Her eyes were wide as everyone jumped at the sudden outburst.

"Whoa, hey, hey." Lucas tried to calm her down. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay, it's me. You're okay."

"What?" She gasped as her hand came up to latch itself around his wrist. "What ha-happ-."

"Stop, stop, stop." He lowered her back to the ground gently. "You fell, you hit your head really hard, now I need you to calm down, okay? The paramedics are here, they're going to check you out. Don't move until they move you, okay, can you do that?"

Riley tried to nod but as the paramedics approached her, they told her not to move once again. They were careful when they wrapped a neck-brace around her neck and lifted her onto a stretcher and into the back of their ambulance.

"Have her parents been contacted?" The paramedic asked their principle as he gave as much information as he could. "Will you be riding with her?"

"Can we?" Maya asked, her eyes red from crying and she stared at her best friend.

"It really should be an adult." The paramedic frowned at her and realized how close they must have been.

Maya nodded and turned away to hug Farkle as he wrapped his arms tight around her.

"It's going to be okay." Farkle kissed the top of her head as Riley's homeroom teacher piled into the back of the ambulance with the paramedic.

Charlie stared after the truck, his teammates surrounding him and patting him on the back thinking it was comforting. He looked to Caprice and the other cheerleaders where they stood off to the side, wiping their tears and shuffling for the door to get to the locker room. He pulled away from his friends and chased after them, stopping Caprice just before she could walk out.

"Caprice, wait!" He panted and caught her attention. "I don't think you should go to the hospital today."

"What?" She blinked at him, thinking he was crazy. "What the hell, Charlie? Riley's our best friend. Why wouldn't we go?"

"Because Maya should get to see her first."

"Why?" Caprice sneered; she knew Maya loved Riley, but she didn't like that Maya acted oblivious to Riley's feelings for Lucas.

"You know and I know how much they mean to her." Charlie glared at her and took a step towards her. "Even if she came to us first, Caprice, I can guarantee that Maya and Lucas are the first people she'll want to see."

"They hurt her. They-."

"They didn't mean to. Lucas loves Riley, Maya loves Riley, they all love Riley and they wanted her to be happy. Without them, Caprice, Riley wouldn't be who she is. She needs them and they need her. I won't tell you twice." Charlie shouldered past her, leaving her at a loss for words and fuming.

* * *

"Well, from the looks of it, aside from some serious whiplash and a sizeable bump on her head, there's no major damage." The doctor informed the Matthews family and Riley's group of friends. "If you kids hadn't woken her up when you did, she could have suffered a concussion, especially from a fall that high. Good job, guys."

"When can we see her?" Corey asked with Topanga and Auggie close at his side.

"We're just finishing up a couple more tests, and you should be good to go in." The doctor gave them a genuine smile and a pat on the arm before walking away.

"Thank God." Topanga let go of her husband and went to hug Maya, then Lucas, then Farkle, then Zay before turning back to Corey.

"We can't thank you guys enough for being there." Corey hugged Maya and patted Lucas' shoulder.

"Of course." Lucas gave him a faint smile and sat with the rest of the group. Resting his elbows on his knees, he buried his face in his hands; Riley should have never gotten hurt like that. This never should have happened to any of them.

"Where's Charlie?" Auggie questioned as he whipped his head around the waiting room.

Lucas clenched his fists; where _was_ Charlie? It's his girlfriend, he should be here.

Maya had never let go of Farkle the entire way to the hospital and she squeezed his hand when the doctor came in to give them an update on Riley.

Topanga and Corey were first to see their daughter, then Auggie, then Zay, then Farkle, and when it came to Maya she hesitated and shook her head.

"You first." She nudged Lucas' shoulder. "I can't yet."

"Maya, she's not angry with us." He tried to console her. "You'll be okay."

"Please, Lucas, just go first." She frowned up at him and he nodded, deciding it was better to give Maya some more time.

* * *

Seeing Riley hooked up to machines, even though they were just to monitor blood pressure, scared him. His hands shook as he reached her bed; she had apparently fallen back asleep after Farkle left. She looked pale and there were dark circles under her eyes; she didn't look anything like Riley.

He wasn't sure what he would say. He was almost tempted not to wake her up and just walk out of there; nothing he said could fix anything. The situation was such a mess, he didn't even know where to begin. He shook his head; he couldn't do this either, he was a coward and he was taking the coward's way out by running.

"Lucas?" She whispered, watching his body tense and his grip on the door handle tighten.

Lucas braced himself before turning back to her. "Hey. I was just um…"

"No, you weren't." Riley stopped him and smiled softly. "It's okay. I'm okay. You don't have to be here."

He grit his teeth; she gave him an out and he was angry that a) he wanted to take it and b) that she offered it.

"Is Charlie here?"

"No." Lucas' blood boiled; she didn't want to see him, but she wanted to see the boyfriend who didn't even bother to show up.

"Okay." She nodded and turned to the television that was left on; she had fallen asleep in the middle of her visit with Farkle. The doctors had given her the okay and she really needed it.

"That's it?" He took three long strides to stand beside her bed. "Just 'okay'? Why? Why is it just okay that he's not here when you're hurt? Aren't you upset about it, Riley? I am. I'm mad that he has the nerve to warn me to stay away from you but won't even show his face when you're in the hospital."

Riley tilted her head to the side and stared up at him. "Yes, it's okay."

"You're scaring me, Riley." Lucas admitted and shook his head, gripping the rails by her bed. "Why is it okay that he's not here?"

"Because you _are_ here." She stated as if it were that simple. "Even though you don't have to be, you are."

He dropped his head without thinking and kissed her; she wanted him there. _She wanted him there_. Expecting her to push him away, he pulled back from her only to feel her cold fingers slide up to the back of his neck and hold him in place.

Riley wanted to push him away; she wanted so badly to throw him out of her room and hate him for making her fall in love with him. But as his fingers tangled in her hair, she couldn't fight the butterflies in her stomach.

Lucas bit down gently on her bottom lip and she gasped, making him pull away and chuckle. Leaning his forehead against hers, he was out of breath and panting. He opened his eyes to look at her and found that he liked the way her cheeks blushed and her lips swelled from his kiss.

A gentle knock on her room door had Lucas scrambling for the handle, thinking it was Mr. Matthews. When he flung the door open, his smile dropped and he clenched his jaw.

Charlie.


	12. Grateful

**Okay, so this took awhile and I'm so sorry. As we all know, writer's block is an awful thing and to be totally honest, for a while I lost my passion for writing. I don't think anything kickstarted it and it'll probably take some time to put out another chapter, so for that I apologize again. I just wanted to put something up because I was going through my stories and was debating on deleting some, maybe re-writing some, or even just deleting my account all together. But I was going through my stories and reading all the reviews and I just want to send out a big thank you to all who encourage me to keep writing and giving me positive feedback. I know I shouldn't, but I'm asking you guys to please be patient with me and enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

It didn't surprise Charlie to see Lucas in Riley's hospital room. He knew exactly why Lucas was there and why Lucas' smile fell as soon as they were face to face. He nodded in recognition and stepped into Riley's view. "Hi."

"Charlie." Riley greeted him with a warm smile. "You're here."

"Of course." Charlie glanced back at Lucas, who hadn't let go of the door handle and stood frozen in place.

"Lucas, are you alright?" Riley asked but the response she got was him turning and leaving the room. She sighed, knowing she couldn't go after him if she tried.

"Was this a bad time?" Charlie frowned after Lucas' retreating frame. "I'm sorry, Riley, I didn't mean-."

"It's okay." She waved him closer and patted the empty spot next to her. She almost laughed at the sheepish look on his face as he scooted closer. "I didn't mean to worry you back at school."

He snorted while taking over the empty space. "I wasn't worried, Riley, I was scared out of my freaking mind. Everyone was. What happened?"

"I…I guess I've just been under a lot of stress." She fiddled with her thumbs and hung her head, ashamed and embarrassed that she'd let the situation go as far as it had.

"Take a number, Riles." Charlie leaned back and ran a hand gently through her hair. "I didn't mean to interrupt you and Lucas. Mr. And Mrs. Matthews didn't say he was in here."

Riley stayed quiet and stared at the end of her hospital bed; how would she explain to him what just happened between her and Lucas?

"We…" She began to explain with a shaky breath. "We were-."

"I know." He chuckled and gave her head a light scratch, almost like petting her. "It's okay, you know? To want to be with Lucas. I've already told you, Riley, I'm not going to stand in the way of your happiness. Whatever you decide, we'll still be friends and I'll still be by your side. To be honest, I didn't expect us to last as long as we did, but I'm really happy that you tried. It's not easy giving up your feelings for someone else and I never expected you to. I was just glad to be with you, Riley."

"How can you say that?" Riley whispered and let her hair fall into her face as tears threatened her eyes. "How can you be okay with me and Lucas when I hurt you, Charlie?"

"You didn't hurt me." He tucked a finger underneath her chin and tilted her face to his. "You could never hurt me, Riley. You're the most sincere, caring, and loving people I've ever met. You wanted Maya to be happy and you thought that by cutting yourself out, she could be. But it was never about Lucas, Riley, it's about you. It's about you and Maya and your guys' friendship. I'm sure Maya loved Lucas, but she loves you more and when you walked out of her life, she was devastated. There isn't one person on this planet that could make her happier than you, Riles."

"I'm a horrible person, Charlie." She argued and shook her head. "I harbored feelings for Lucas when I was in a relationship with you. I cut Maya out of my life because I couldn't bare the thought of her and Lucas together. I let Caprice treat Maya horribly because I was being selfish. I'm not the person everyone thinks I am."

"You're not horrible. You lost your way and that's not your fault. Everyone makes mistakes, but you have to learn from it." Charlie rested his head against hers and hugged her close. "In the end, Riley, you thought the decisions you made were in everyone's best interest. But truth be told, you never stopped to think about the consequences and that's why everything blew up in our face. You just wanted everyone to be happy, Riley, even if you weren't."

"I was." Riley swore, digging her face into his chest and staining his t-shirt with her tears. "I was happy with you, Charlie. I didn't want things to get so messed up between us. You're my best friend and I love you. It hurts so much that I can't be _in love_ with you. You're such an amazing guy and any girl would be lucky to have you. I'm sorry you wasted so much time on me."

"It wasn't a waste of time. It was getting to hold your hand, wipe away your tears, and protecting you from your worst fears. I got to know you in a way I never thought I could and I'm grateful for it. You don't ever have to be sorry for not being in love with me, Riley. Don't ever apologize for your feelings."

She let out a huge breath, letting her body relax and feeling the tears subside. They remained in a comfortable silence with the TV playing in the background.

"So," Charlie spoke up, "what about you and Lucas? I should have probably ran after him so he didn't get the wrong idea about us."

"You don't have to explain to him. I'm the one who has to explain. I've already put everyone in such a bad position and I don't want to do that to you."

* * *

"How did it go?" Maya stopped Lucas from storming out of the waiting room. She scoffed and grabbed onto his arm when he tried to push past her. "Hey, Huckleberry, I'm talking to you."

"Charlie came in." Lucas grit his teeth, grinding them together and stepping out of her grasp.

"And that's why you left? Seriously, Lucas, are you honestly still worried that they're going to stay together?"

"Why wouldn't they, Maya?" He huffed and crossed his arms. "Charlie's a great guy. He never pushed Riley, not the way I have. He deserves her. Not me."

"Huckleberry, I think you're forgetting one thing," Maya frowned and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Riley loves _you_. Not Charlie. You should know by now that she's always going to chose you."

"What do you think they're talking about?" Zay asked Farkle as they both stood off to the side to watch Lucas and Maya.

"Riley." Farkle answered easily. "It'll always be Riley."

"How did she look in there?"

"Tired." Farkle dropped his gaze to the ground and his mind went to the image of his best friend lying in the hospital bed, pale and skinny. "Exhausted, actually. When I went in there, I was ready to lay it all on her and tell her to stop being so stubborn. That Maya is her best friend and they needed to work it all out. But the machines and the wires…it scared me, Zay, and it made me realize how close we could have been to losing her."

"I gotcha." Zay nodded his head in agreement. "I was ready to let Lucas have it too, but he didn't need that. None of them did. I've never seen Lucas so scared in my life than when he was holding Riley in the gym."

"Charlie!" Auggie sang and ran to Charlie as he approached Cory and Topanga. Jumping into Charlie's arms, he beamed and asked if his sister was okay.

"She's doing just fine, kiddo." Charlie promised and carried him to his parents to let them know that Riley had fallen asleep once again. Topanga patted his shoulder and thanked him; she knew how much he loved her daughter and she was so appreciative for the kind of person he was. "I should head home. My parents are worried about her too and I said I'd let them know how she was doing when I got back."

"Of course." Cory nodded and shook his hand before he left; he may not have liked that Riley was in a relationship with him, but he knew Charlie had a good head on his shoulders.

"Oh, um," Charlie stopped short at the sight of Lucas and turned to Maya, "I think you should go in and see her, Maya. I know she's asleep right now, but when she wakes up, I think you guys should talk. I um, also told Caprice that it might not be a good idea to show up today, so you've got all the time you need to decide what you're going to do."

Maya opened her mouth to thank him, but no words came out and she couldn't understand why. She was glad Charlie stayed by Riley's side through the entire thing but her words caught in her throat and tears welled up in her eyes. It surprised her and everyone else when she launched herself into Charlie's arms and hugged him tight.

Charlie smiled and squeezed her frame to his, pulling back and giving her a nod to let her know that he understood why she had a hard time speaking. Sticking his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he sauntered past Lucas and stopped so they stood shoulder to shoulder. "You need to take care of her, Friar. I don't need to tell you how special someone like Riley is. So, please, take care of her."

Lucas balled his hands into fists and took a sharp breath as Charlie left the hospital. He wanted to dislike Charlie, but he really couldn't and it irritated him. Lucas didn't think he deserved any of Riley's affection because to anyone who didn't know their story, there was no competition. Charlie Gardner was the better of the two of them and Lucas couldn't compare.


End file.
